I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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