he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
