it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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