is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
