She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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