So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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