I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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