we have pet lesbian snakes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
