I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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