Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
