pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
