R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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