But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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