I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
