he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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