wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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