Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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