don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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