He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
