Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
