therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
