Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize