eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I will be naked everywhere
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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