you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
