her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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