this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
