he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
