thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A bitchslap is in order.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
