Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
