No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize