eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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