i think my mom watched the whole time
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
