Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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