covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
