so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
