I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize