so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
