I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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