sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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