walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
