you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I faked an abortion last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
