you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
