Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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