try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
