i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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