after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
