I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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