Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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