My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
