Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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