Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
