did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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