After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
