I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
