Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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