He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
