no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
