He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
