four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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