Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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